Please note the word “act” as opposed to words like “plan” or “success”.. it is very much an outcome of trial and error and some days are better than others. This picture here is a bit misleading as I don’t have a baby, I don’t iron very much and and I really don’t wear skirts..but I thought it was a good visual to represent the daily challenges many of us face. I am trying to represent those of us that want to be the best parent ever, have a great marriage (if be an awesome friend, have a spotless house with everything checked off the “to do” list, be an active member of our church and the community and have a successful career. Many of us probably want all of that, but very few likely achieve it all perfectly - I know I am one of them!
I want to give a shout out to all moms out there, those working in or out of your home, because I know how hard it is and how hard you have to work to keep up! I don’t know about you, but I have gone through some of the more challenging weeks of my adult life recently. But why am I complaining?! My husband and I are both working and I have an awesome job that cares about my well being. And, our family is safe and healthy, which is a lot more than many have today. I have many close to me that have lost jobs or their small business is suffering, have been sick or have lost those close to them. I really have a lot to be thankful for and I try to pause and reflect on that often.
That doesn’t make it easy though! I am human and am going through a big change curve. I have always struggled a bit with “work life balance” (I put it in quotations as I don’t think the perfect balance exists) and over the years I finally came up with a structure that works well for me and my family. Now, that routine and that plan I worked very hard to “master” has changed tremendously, and I have to find a new norm to have peace and enjoy what I do.
I used to get up at 4:45am, have time with God (and some coffee), exercise and then start working around 5:30 or so. I was caught up on emails and heads down type work by around 7:30 and would get ready for the day while getting the kids off to school, walking the dog and the finally leaving for work myself. I would usually leave around 4 to be home within and hour or so after the kids were home so I could hang out with them and have time to start dinner early before evening activities and so forth. It was a busy day but it worked for me..that is, until now....
Like many of you, a month or so ago, I started working from home and shortly after, the kids started having school at home. I am a person that likes to be up and moving, and am not much of the home school mom type! As an extrovert, I crave the people interaction and the 15+ back to back meetings via zoom every day don’t quite satisfy that need in the same way. At first, I thought it was temporary, and now I am starting to accept that it may be like this for a while.
My routine is different now, and I struggled for weeks until I found a new one. I was getting my heads down work done but had trouble pulling away since I wasn’t leaving to go anywhere. I would step out of a meeting around noon and realize my teenagers were still asleep m! I had planned originally to go make them lunch, and instead I am spending that time trying to pull them out of bed and get started on their schoolwork (which I might add is hard to monitor, and I have not been sure they were telling me the whole story as to why they are really doing - I still haven’t figured that part out).
I have figured some of it out though, and while it isn’t perfect, I have accepted the need for a new “norm”. I have gotten to a point where I have a relatively healthy rhythm, can connect with people in a more meaningful way, and feel like I can breathe at the end of the day. Here are a few of my best practices:
I sleep in a little later until 5:30 or so (now that I don’t have drive time I can claw a bit of that back)
I log into work between 6:15-6:30. This gives me plenty of time to prep for the day; get caught up on email, memorize my calendar and get any deep thinking done before meetings begin
I use video for most meetings as it helps ensure my interactions feel as connected as possible, but identify a couple of meetings a day where I can be a “silent observer” or just talk on the phone with somebody I see frequently and I take that time to walk - it breaks up the day and allows me to get my exercise in
I also identify which parts of the day I can fit in a 15-30 min break, which I do 2-3 times and can since I log in early - I use this time to eat and check on my kids (as they don’t want around any more than that - they are teenagers) :/
I get off promptly at 5 or shortly after and don’t work at night unless on the rare occasion something is urgent - that is my family time and my time to decompress and clear my head
I am sure many of you have similar practices, and some things may just not make sense for you or your lifestyle, but this is what works for me.
As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you. – Isaiah 66:13
That verse is inspiring to me as I try so hard to figure out how to be the best mom that I can be, while also being a dedicated worker, contributing as much as I can while not sacrificing my other priorities.
It isn’t the same as before and may not look that way again anytime soon (or ever) but I’m thankful for being able to be closer to my family while having a safe environment to work in. Many are not that fortunate.
Is there a purpose for what we are going through right now? Sometimes it is hard to believe there could be. That said, I have learned so much through this process, and am spending more time with my kids, and getting a bit more done around my house. I am not going a hundred miles an hour anymore...and may have needed something to force me to slow down. Maybe I just needed some time to pause, take a deep breath, and work on my balancing act.
How about you?
Comments