I am so blessed to celebrate my 9th wedding anniversary with Fred today, or.. it would actually be 23 years this year (if I add together the first time we were married).
Yes, I remarried my ex-husband!
That may not be a super uncommon thing, but I had never heard of it happening until it happened to me. There is a big part of my testimony tied to that difficult time in my life, and many things that we could have done differently, but I am so thankful that we are together as a family again. I have seen how all of the pain we experienced during our time apart was for a purpose, and there is so much we have learned from the circumstances we have lived through (as described in my book).
I will share some advice with those of you that may be new wives, or may be struggling in your marriages; particularly for those that might be the go-getter, hard working, run the show type women (like me). At the end of the day, it comes down to one word - respect.
There is a reason why Aretha made a whole song about it!! It is the #1 most important thing that as a wife, we can give our husbands and in turn, they will reciprocate and be the man we want them to be. They were made this way - to require respect, and nothing works if it is missing. It won’t happen overnight, but is a foundational component.
There is a bible verse in that references the need to “submit to your husband”. I laughed when I first read it years ago as I figured it only referred to those wives back in the “old days” - certainly not to women leaders.. those capable, strong women who are more than equipped to handle things on their own. Why would I need to “submit” to my husband, or anyone for that matter? I can hold my own.. and don’t need to answer to anyone!
Boy, was I wrong.....
Could I manage on my own? Yes, very likely so, and I did for many years. Would I be happy? Nope.
To be happy, I need to submit to God and respect my husband. That is the way God designed it and it’s amazing how well life can work when you simply live by His guidance (for marriage, and any other topic). And although a man’s primary need is to be respected, they have to love, and respect, us too! Which they will want to do...if in fact they feel respected.
In addition to respect, the second very important word I would mention here is forgiveness. To truly forgive, it takes humbling yourself to realize your own failures in the situation and also letting the past be the past, and never mentioning it again. That is a story for another blog!
Things aren’t perfect. There will always be problems. How you work through them is what can make or break a marriage. I will leave you with this link to a great devotional I read on bullet proof marriages. I really can’t stop learning more about this stuff as I will continue to focus on growing in my faith and to be the best wife I can be.
I wish you the very best in your marriage or relationship!
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